When I was single and way before I had my kid, I never hesitated to poke fun at a friend when they acted like a total parent. Whether it was them pulling out a baby wipe to clean up a spill while standing at the bar, or turning every conversation into a recap of their kid’s life. It always left the door open for some form of harassment. But, oh how the tables have turned. I now find myself doing the very “parenty” things that I used to mock others for doing (SMH). In the early stages of being a parent, you try to convince yourself that you’ll still preserve your independence and remain the same person you have always been. Until, you’re not, and you have totally embraced the thing known as parenthood.
I’ll never forget that day. I was still, in my head at least, playing the role of the man. The head of household, provider and protector. Sure I was doing my part helping out with feedings and diaper changes. But, up until this point I never really felt like a dad or a parent. I was still myself. I had my usual routine, just added a little extra responsibility to take care of the baby. It wasn’t until one day, as I was loading a moving truck getting ready to move my family onto better opportunities, that I realized I entered full on parent mode. I was in the middle of struggling to get all our boxes and furniture into the truck. It was one obstacle after the other, one headache after another. Right as I approached a point of exhaustion, I stopped and asked myself, “boy I could really use a mouse ka tool right about now.”
Now I find myself revolving my day around Frozen and experiencing all the other cliché parenting moments. Which by the way for any new parent reading this, you have to find that go to movie. Every parent has to have a go to movie that they can put on to occupy their monster for at least twenty-minutes. Twenty-minutes should be all that you need to wash bottles, clean up, change the laundry, and pull something out for dinner. Anyway, yes I too am in full parenting mode and find myself adding on five extra minutes while I take a shit just for some me time. And if I’m not singing the ABC’s or some other kids song that I’ve heard 900 times, you can find me yelling at YouTube for having to play a fucking ad every time I need the dam hot dog song on so I can enjoy five minutes of peace and quiet!
Ahh yes, the joys of parenting.